“Mommy, you my friend. You my favorite girl. You my person.” My grandson Owen spoke those words to his mother, recently. Of course, Cassie, my daughter, treasured Owen’s expression of love for her, as any loving mother would. But, with Owen, hearing him express himself is especially treasured by Cassie.
Owen is autistic. I will not attempt to explain just where he is on the spectrum because I am not at all qualified. I am his grandfather and I have been learning during each of his five years what it all means for Owen. Autism, in part, substantially affects Owen’s communication with others. He likes to speak, he wants to speak, but language is a big challenge for him.
If you Google autism, you will find that part of the definition will read something like this: People with autism often have problems with social communication and interaction. If you were around Owen much, you would find how very true that it is.
Since his infancy, Cassie and her husband, Nick, have been tireless advocates for Owen, making certain that he has every resource possible to aid in his delayed development. Speech therapists, private and in his Pre-K classes, have been critically important. They have helped Owen to tell his mom and dad, his brother, his grandparents and others what he needs, how he feels and much more.
Owen is especially close to a speech therapist at his Pre-K program, which he entered as soon as he turned age three. This is, essentially, how he described her last year. “She plays with me. I love her.” He has also bonded well with his private speech therapists.
There was a time when Owen would act out what he wanted to tell us. And, use a little sign language. And, there were words, too, but not actually sentences.
Today, at age 5 and looking forward to Kindergarten, he speaks throughout the day. He has a long way to go in his speech development, but he is making progress. I read his progress reports from various therapists and his Pre-K program, as well as some of the notes from his various physicians. Sometimes, when I read them, I become tearful. Looking at his long list of “issues,” I can feel overwhelmed. But, I see progress and I believe much good is ahead. I thank his outstanding parents for that, as well as the therapists and doctors who have shown him so much love.
Here’s a little of what it is like to spend a day with Owen. Throughout the day, he will ask, “what’s that (noise)?” It may be children in the distance playing, a truck passing by, the hot-air hand drying machine in a bathroom, a door closing, hamburgers sizzling on a grill and so on. Every time, I explain as best I can what it is, explaining calmly so as to assure him all is okay.
He will also ask all day, “Why?” Most anything I tell him, he will respond with that question. Again, I calmly do my best to offer an explanation. The woman in the restaurant next to us is eating lunch because she is hungry. The boy crying in the park is tired and hot, but he is okay and his mom is taking care of him. The squirrel is running so fast because squirrels like to run, they think it is fun.
I will answer questions from him all day long. And, I am fine with that. Owen is talking. He wants to talk and he likes to talk. Some who are on the spectrum do not speak.
When Owen says he loves you, that is powerful. I have come just short of crying on several occasions.
I do not understand much about autism, still. I know that when Owen says, “Papa, come,” I am on my way.
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